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The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
love makes seman taste better
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Randomize
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