I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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