eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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