You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize