She's JV to your varsity
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize