when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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