your parents love me but you hate me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize