Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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