Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
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This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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