I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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