I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize