I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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