umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
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Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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