omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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