i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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