are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize