You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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