i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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