oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
nutella sex= disaster
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize