So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize