This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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