remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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