I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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