You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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