she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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