Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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