The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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