I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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