So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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