I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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