So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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