A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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