For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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