this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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