hotel room ftw
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize