i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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