I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize