That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize