dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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