i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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