I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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