I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
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me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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