you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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