Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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