Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
bring money and cleavage
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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