I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize