I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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