But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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