worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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