you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize